I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
