I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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