The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
