i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
