I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
