i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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