you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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