we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I want to make a zoo with you.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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