If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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