Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize