Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Randomize
