i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
