she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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