I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
