just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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