the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
