i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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