Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
