Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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