you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
