Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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