Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize