Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am midnight drunk by noon
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize