So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
