break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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