she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
