Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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