Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
