good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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