margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
