There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
