I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
