guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
