Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize