and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
