I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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