yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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