why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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