the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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