He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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