i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize