Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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