ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We had to coat check the pizza.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
