it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We got so high we made milksteak
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
