Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
