I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We are all done wearing pants today
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
