The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize