So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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