I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
