I just made out with a guy for $7.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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