my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
