Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
