Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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