I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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