Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
