There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
