People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize