I got her a Nickelback box set.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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