So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
