Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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