I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
