May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
