How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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