I seem to have left my pride at pride
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just found a bag of teeth...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize