just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
