he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
